Follow this link for part II on this series.
Follow this link for part III on this series.
Since the three first installments of this series were so serious, I'll try to make this last one a lot lighter. This is gonna be a list of the stuff and people I hate in the Internet.
And enjoy some music while you read. This is Marisa Monte, the best Brazilian singer ever, singing "Amor I Love You" (Love, I love you). If you want to forward, she starts singing at 0:45.
(1) Acronyms
I guess everybody knows the basic. LOL means Laughing Out Loud, BRB means Be Right Back and ROFLMAO means Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off. But don't you hate when people use acronyms that are too obscure to make sense at the first sight? I understand acronyms should be used to save time, but whose time are they saving? Not mine, since I have to research to find out what these fuckers are trying to say. Who the fuck knows that NALOPKT means Not A Lot Of People Know That and RTFM means Read The Fucking Manual (just noticed that the answer could be NALOPKT)? It's FUBAR.
(2) Hysteric Hyenas
You know who they are. They write you an email with 100 words and 50 are LOL. What's so funny that these people are constantly laughing out loud while they're typing something in the Internet? I'd like some of what they're smoking. I could do with some laughing.
(3) Wannabe Don Juans
These guys are always looking for girls in chat rooms and message boards. They're always sending you private messages trying to determine your gender. And as soon as they realize you're a guy they lose interest in you completely (thanks God).
(4) Scams
There are several types of scams but some of them are classic. Like when the Crown Prince of Nigeria writes an email asking you to transfer 10 thousand dollars to his account so he can free his father, King Ngorosi, who's in prison after a military coup. Of course, after his Majesty is free he will send you 10 million dollars.
(5) Chain mail
You probably get 4 or 5 of these everyday, telling you that life is beautiful, everybody loves you and that if you forward this email to 500 people something wonderful will happen to you. Fail to do that though, and your dick will fall off.
(6) Spam
I'm Asian and, despite the stereotype, I'm perfectly happy with the size of my dick. What's more important, my wife is happy too. And for your information, all the girls who have had the pleasure of handling my dick were very happy and satisfied. So, please stop sending me all these emails with information on how to increase my dick by 2 inches! Who wants to double the size of their cock anyway (kidding!!!!!)?
(7) Statistics
93.5% of the statistics in the Internet are invented.
(8) People who upload fake movie torrents
Have you guys ever downloaded a copy of "Iron Man", sat in front of the computer with your wife and then clicked on the movie just to see a guy sucking another guy's cock? No? Yeah, me neither. But it must be embarrassing.
(9) Pop-ups
God, I used to hate these. Now, most decent browsers have pop-up blockers but there are still a couple of them that make through the filter. Usually the ones that actually pop up are those with a wide open pussy when you're in the office and there's a girl reading over your shoulder.
(10) Mediocre people
Nowadays, all idiots with mediocre IQs want to write a blog and show how funny and smart they can be. They think people care what they have to say and laugh at their stupid jokes. Well, reality check for you people. Nobody reads, nobody cares and nobody laughs. Only people with superior IQs (like me) should write blogs.
Well, there are more stuff that I hate in the Internet, but I also hate writing long posts and probably by now the song is over. I may continue the list later, let's see (I also hate when I can't find a good ending for a post).
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