A man is locked in a hotel room for 15 years. During that time, the only connection he has with the outside is a TV set through which he sees the changes in the world and the passage of time. It's also through the TV that he receives news that his wife has been murdered and that his daughter was adopted by somebody overseas. No reasons or explanations are given until he suddenly wakes up on the top of a building with a wallet full of money. From then on, he's on a quest to find out why somebody did that to him.
"Oldboy" is disturbing. The themes discussed are even more depressing and shocking than the violence displayed in some scenes. Which isn't an easy thing to do, since it has a fair share of gruesome scenes. Anyway, after the movie is done, the spectator will be feeling at least a little bit uneasy. "Oldboy" will violate you, it will break the notions of decency and morality you have kept during your life. Unless, of course, incest, hate and blind vengeance are no strangers and you deal with it on your day by day.
Despite some over the top performances by the lead male actors and the tendency for whining that the female lead has, it's a well built movie. It's powerful. It makes you think after you're done with it.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
My Sassy Girl - Part II
I realize I wrote about this same film just a few posts ago. People may think I love it and guys will be saying that if I write twice about some chick flick I must be gay. Well, I enjoyed "My Sassy Girl" the proper amount and I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), but in the case of this post it could be replaced by any movie in the same genre.
Romantic comedies usually have happy endings. "My Sassy Girl" (little spoilers ahead) tells the story of a guy who meets a girl in the subway. They date for a while and due to some stuff that happened in the girl's past they have to take a break. Of course, after two or three years, through a few coincidences, they end up meeting again and living happily ever after. Beautiful. Love overcomes everything and if a couple is meant to be together, it doesn't matter what the difficulties are, the world will conspire for that to happen.
It seemed to be the case for Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton. In November of 2007, Patrick saw Camille in the subway (the "My Sassy Girl" connection) in NY. He was gathering the courage to go talk to her when she disappeared in the crowd. He launched a search for her in the internet, based on a sketch he made of the situation. Like in a romantic comedy, he found her. Like in a romantic comedy, they got together.
For two months.
If their life was a romantic comedy, they'd be together now. They'd be in love with each other forever. Because romantic comedies are are supposed to have happy endings.
Well, just too bad that Patrick and Camille live in the real world.
Romantic comedies usually have happy endings. "My Sassy Girl" (little spoilers ahead) tells the story of a guy who meets a girl in the subway. They date for a while and due to some stuff that happened in the girl's past they have to take a break. Of course, after two or three years, through a few coincidences, they end up meeting again and living happily ever after. Beautiful. Love overcomes everything and if a couple is meant to be together, it doesn't matter what the difficulties are, the world will conspire for that to happen.
It seemed to be the case for Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton. In November of 2007, Patrick saw Camille in the subway (the "My Sassy Girl" connection) in NY. He was gathering the courage to go talk to her when she disappeared in the crowd. He launched a search for her in the internet, based on a sketch he made of the situation. Like in a romantic comedy, he found her. Like in a romantic comedy, they got together.
For two months.
If their life was a romantic comedy, they'd be together now. They'd be in love with each other forever. Because romantic comedies are are supposed to have happy endings.
Well, just too bad that Patrick and Camille live in the real world.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Korean or American?
I've already posted my ideas on racism in the USA. Actually, I linked to a post by somebody who thinks pretty much like me. Then, life in this country must be like a dream for a Korean-American, right? Since this is the least racist country in the world, this must be the best place outside of Korea for people like me to live, right?
Well, let me start by saying yes. This country is the best place for Korean-Americans to live, even better than Korea. Although I have wonderful memories of my time in the motherland I have to acknowledge that actually living there must be like hell. I really enjoyed my time in Korea because I didn't have to worry about making a living or anything like that. I was there to study Korean and to hang out, just that. It was a few months of wandering around with friends, drinking, singing in karaokes and all sorts of other entertaining activities. I didn't live in Korea, I was a visitor.
I worked for a Korean company back in Brazil. During that time we used to receive lots of visitors from our head office and I of course spent sometime talking to them. They used to tell me how competitive life is in Korea, how you have to study a lot to get in a good school and how you have to work long hours to keep your job. It makes sense, with 50 million people living in such a small peninsula, they don't have a place in the sun for everybody. You have to strive to succeed.
It's even more obvious now. If life in there wasn't unbearably competitive, why would Korea be importing mediocre Americans with a BA to teach English to their kids? Why would people spend lots of money to have their children come study here? And why would we have so many Koreans trying to move here?
I want my daughter to have a normal childhood. I don't want her to study 10 hours a day. I want her to enjoy life. So the USA is the best place to raise her. But one thing worries me these days. Should I raise her to be Korean or American?
Thinking with my heart I would love her to consider her Korean heritage a very important part of life. I don't know why it is so important for me to be Korean, but it is. It's a part of me and I can't explain how I got it. Rationally, though, why should I worry about her being Korean? Why not just raise her as what she truly is, as American as anybody born in the USA, for this is a country built by immigrants from all over the world? Why would I put this conflict in her mind while there's an easier choice?
Because she looks Korean. She doesn't look American. She's not white, she's not black, she's Asian. In every situation she is, people will always wonder where she came from, never actually accepting that she is an American, just like them.
Why is that? Why are whites and blacks accepted as Americans and we are not?
I will probably have to write more posts about this subject, just to figure it out.
Well, let me start by saying yes. This country is the best place for Korean-Americans to live, even better than Korea. Although I have wonderful memories of my time in the motherland I have to acknowledge that actually living there must be like hell. I really enjoyed my time in Korea because I didn't have to worry about making a living or anything like that. I was there to study Korean and to hang out, just that. It was a few months of wandering around with friends, drinking, singing in karaokes and all sorts of other entertaining activities. I didn't live in Korea, I was a visitor.
I worked for a Korean company back in Brazil. During that time we used to receive lots of visitors from our head office and I of course spent sometime talking to them. They used to tell me how competitive life is in Korea, how you have to study a lot to get in a good school and how you have to work long hours to keep your job. It makes sense, with 50 million people living in such a small peninsula, they don't have a place in the sun for everybody. You have to strive to succeed.
It's even more obvious now. If life in there wasn't unbearably competitive, why would Korea be importing mediocre Americans with a BA to teach English to their kids? Why would people spend lots of money to have their children come study here? And why would we have so many Koreans trying to move here?
I want my daughter to have a normal childhood. I don't want her to study 10 hours a day. I want her to enjoy life. So the USA is the best place to raise her. But one thing worries me these days. Should I raise her to be Korean or American?
Thinking with my heart I would love her to consider her Korean heritage a very important part of life. I don't know why it is so important for me to be Korean, but it is. It's a part of me and I can't explain how I got it. Rationally, though, why should I worry about her being Korean? Why not just raise her as what she truly is, as American as anybody born in the USA, for this is a country built by immigrants from all over the world? Why would I put this conflict in her mind while there's an easier choice?
Because she looks Korean. She doesn't look American. She's not white, she's not black, she's Asian. In every situation she is, people will always wonder where she came from, never actually accepting that she is an American, just like them.
Why is that? Why are whites and blacks accepted as Americans and we are not?
I will probably have to write more posts about this subject, just to figure it out.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
America, the least racist country in the world
I was gonna post something about my feelings towards the country where my daughter was born but I found a post by The Korean that reflects my thoughts almost exactly.
Enjoy...
Enjoy...
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Han, the sadness of being Korean
I've always wondered why Korean people are so sad. Love songs mostly talk about the pain of losing a lover and in surprising numbers some even talk about commiting suicide after a partner has died. Modern music is sad, but have you ever listened to more traditional Korean songs? The very key of the song is sad, like if the singer is depressed beyond Prozac. And movies and tv dramas always make people cry. Even in romantic comedies somebody has to die. And don't get me started on how dramatic and tragic Korean people can be.
I asked my wife about it because she's lived in Korea for a longer time and therefore she's "more Korean" than I am. She told me about Han, the sadness of Korean people. I started thinking about it and did a little research on the internet. Apparently people think Han is a result of the years of oppression suffered in the hands of several different invaders. Others theorize that it has its origin in the ancient class structures, where the yangban dominated the peasants.
But I think there's a different explanation for Han. It comes from our pride, from what we Koreans are made of, from our culture, from our blood. You see, being Korean is knowing you're better than anybody else in the world but never having to prove it. We know we have the potential to outsmart and triumph over anybody, but we never actually put it to test. That is the origin of Han, this eternal feeling of sadness present in the heart of every Korean.
There's nothing more depressing than unfulfilled potential and we Koreans are the perfect example of it. We are sad because we come to the terrible conclusion that since our potential is endless we will never be able to fulfill it.
I imagine even a very successful Korean is sad, because we always fall short of our perceived potential. If I win a gold medal in the Olympics I will cry because I didn't get two. If I make one million dollars I will be sad because I didn't make more.
Within a certain range of intensity everybody, Korean or not, is like this. But we Koreans top the list in that scale. We have too much pride, we have too many expectations, we think we're too good. Other people don't have the same expectations we do, that's why they're happier.
We Koreans think too much of ourselves to be happy.
I asked my wife about it because she's lived in Korea for a longer time and therefore she's "more Korean" than I am. She told me about Han, the sadness of Korean people. I started thinking about it and did a little research on the internet. Apparently people think Han is a result of the years of oppression suffered in the hands of several different invaders. Others theorize that it has its origin in the ancient class structures, where the yangban dominated the peasants.
But I think there's a different explanation for Han. It comes from our pride, from what we Koreans are made of, from our culture, from our blood. You see, being Korean is knowing you're better than anybody else in the world but never having to prove it. We know we have the potential to outsmart and triumph over anybody, but we never actually put it to test. That is the origin of Han, this eternal feeling of sadness present in the heart of every Korean.
There's nothing more depressing than unfulfilled potential and we Koreans are the perfect example of it. We are sad because we come to the terrible conclusion that since our potential is endless we will never be able to fulfill it.
I imagine even a very successful Korean is sad, because we always fall short of our perceived potential. If I win a gold medal in the Olympics I will cry because I didn't get two. If I make one million dollars I will be sad because I didn't make more.
Within a certain range of intensity everybody, Korean or not, is like this. But we Koreans top the list in that scale. We have too much pride, we have too many expectations, we think we're too good. Other people don't have the same expectations we do, that's why they're happier.
We Koreans think too much of ourselves to be happy.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Love
I've been known to have had some success with girls when I was younger. It's an euphemism, because I was actually a slut. I've always had mirrors available so I can't pretend that I'm extremely handsome. But, as you know, some people use their brains for science, others use it to make money, I used it to get laid. Of course I'm not an ogre and girls would often say I was kinda cute or that I had something that attracted them to me. I'm sorry if you're ugly, but it's easier to get women to sleep with you when you don't look like a troll. Unless you have a lot of money, but that's another story.
Anyway, I've had several girls in my life (before I go any further, I've been always faithful to my wife and I'm quite sure I won't sleep with anybody else for the rest of my life), some were one night stands and I don't even remember their names, others I've dated casually and others I've dated for a long time. Some of them even lasted long enough for me to refer to them as girlfriends. The point of this post is that - not counting my wife - I've been in love only four times (I know some may think four is a big number but give me a break, I started at a young age) and all of them were with Korean girls. I've liked or had some long relationships with non-Korean girls before, but real love, only with Korean girls. It may not sound strange but I have to remind you that I left Korea when I was five and until I got to college I barely had any contact with Korean girls. And even after that, you know, Korean girls only accounted for about one millionth of one percent of the population in the country I was living in, so the vast majority of my relationships and flings were with non-Korean girls.
I grew up in Brazil and in that country children start their "love life" early. I remember back in elementary school when girls used to make up couples according to who liked who. It was a little strange for me for I was a Korean boy who didn't speak Portuguese very well but it wasn't unusual to see boys and girls holding hands during recess and calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. A little kiss on the lips was very common between those early lovers but of course nobody was making out in elementary school. Making out was something I was introduced to in junior high.
I was finishing elementary school when I met my first love, and let's call her MK. I was in love with her for about 4 years and I have nothing to show for it, at least during that period (aha, a little twist of events brought us together for one night later in life). She was about one year older than me and our families used to hang out.
I met my second love, who I'll call KK, when I was finishing high school (I actually met her on the last day of our college admission test) and ooh la la, she loved me back! We went to the same school and dated for about 4 months in our freshman year. We had to break up due to external reasons (parents thought we were too young to date and Korean society in Brazil is so gossipy) and not because we stopped loving each other. Although, I believe KK started hating me (love and hate are always so close) after we broke up because I was so depressed that I started sleeping with any girl who'd open her legs to me. We barely spoke to each other during the following years together in college and I think she must have suffered a little due to my slutty self (I've heard from some acquantances that she never got married, though that may be due to the fact that she is very hard to deal with).
The third girl I was in love with was ML, and she was the one I met in Korea when I went back there to re-learn the language after college. She also loved me and it was beautiful while it lasted. We had three magical months in Korea, two years of peace in Brazil and one year when everything went down. She was so crazy about me that she decided to leave her country and come live with me in Brazil. After three years of an almost married life, I was neglecting her so much that she stopped loving me. She left me and went back to Korea, breaking my heart so bad that I though I was gonna die.
I always thought you could cure the pain of a lost love with sex and after a year or so of being a slut again I met HB. She was a work colleague who lived in USA with whom I had some work related phone calls from time to time. We began this long distance relationship and on a trip we ended up hooking up. We kept it going for a while but different life goals and the distance ended our doomed relationship. Eventhough I already had plans to move to the USA we couldn't keep the magic going. I believe she loved me back then but I'm not so sure about it now.
And these were the four girls I was in love with before my wife.
I've had some other Asian girlfriends, many of them Brazilian born Koreans, Japanese or Chinese. I've also dated white and black girls. But I never fell in love with any of them because they were lacking something to me. The girls I really loved were not only Koreans, but they also had Korean culture in them. They spoke the language, they acted Korean, they were typical Korean girls. So, what I'm thinking is that, at least for me, it's very hard to fall in love with somebody if you don't share the same cultural background.
Sometimes I felt seriously interested in a particular non-Korean girl and I even thought I could someday come to love her. But this infatuation I felt only lasted for about three months after we slept together. In some cases I kept the relationship going but I was soon feeling sorry for the girl for I knew I would never be in love with her like she was with me. I remember one girl I dated for a year. She was Brazilian born Japanese and I used to wake up in the middle of the night crying, while she was sleeping by my side, because I knew our relationship was going to end some day.
I admire people who can date successfuly outside their race and culture and I really try hard not to be racist. My sister is married to a white guy and I love him like a brother. But although she was born in Korea, she isn't culturally Korean and she never was. She's a Brazilian-American woman, there's very little of Korean in her. That's why their marriage is going well.
Actually I envy the flexibility of non-Koreans when it comes to dating. They can get along with anybody, be it white, yellow, black, brown or purple. But we Koreans are very peculiar people. We need Koreans around us to be happy. There are some things in our culture that don't translate in any other. That's why most of the marriages between typical Korean girls and non-Korean guys don't work so well. The guy may be ok with it but the girl is probably gonna miss Korean culture some day.
Korean guys usually are more attached to "being Korean" than the girls. That's why you rarely see a Korean guy married to a non-Korean girl.
Am I the only one who thinks that way?
I notice now that I didn't mention what happened between me and MK. I will leave it for another post and another day.
Anyway, I've had several girls in my life (before I go any further, I've been always faithful to my wife and I'm quite sure I won't sleep with anybody else for the rest of my life), some were one night stands and I don't even remember their names, others I've dated casually and others I've dated for a long time. Some of them even lasted long enough for me to refer to them as girlfriends. The point of this post is that - not counting my wife - I've been in love only four times (I know some may think four is a big number but give me a break, I started at a young age) and all of them were with Korean girls. I've liked or had some long relationships with non-Korean girls before, but real love, only with Korean girls. It may not sound strange but I have to remind you that I left Korea when I was five and until I got to college I barely had any contact with Korean girls. And even after that, you know, Korean girls only accounted for about one millionth of one percent of the population in the country I was living in, so the vast majority of my relationships and flings were with non-Korean girls.
I grew up in Brazil and in that country children start their "love life" early. I remember back in elementary school when girls used to make up couples according to who liked who. It was a little strange for me for I was a Korean boy who didn't speak Portuguese very well but it wasn't unusual to see boys and girls holding hands during recess and calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. A little kiss on the lips was very common between those early lovers but of course nobody was making out in elementary school. Making out was something I was introduced to in junior high.
I was finishing elementary school when I met my first love, and let's call her MK. I was in love with her for about 4 years and I have nothing to show for it, at least during that period (aha, a little twist of events brought us together for one night later in life). She was about one year older than me and our families used to hang out.
I met my second love, who I'll call KK, when I was finishing high school (I actually met her on the last day of our college admission test) and ooh la la, she loved me back! We went to the same school and dated for about 4 months in our freshman year. We had to break up due to external reasons (parents thought we were too young to date and Korean society in Brazil is so gossipy) and not because we stopped loving each other. Although, I believe KK started hating me (love and hate are always so close) after we broke up because I was so depressed that I started sleeping with any girl who'd open her legs to me. We barely spoke to each other during the following years together in college and I think she must have suffered a little due to my slutty self (I've heard from some acquantances that she never got married, though that may be due to the fact that she is very hard to deal with).
The third girl I was in love with was ML, and she was the one I met in Korea when I went back there to re-learn the language after college. She also loved me and it was beautiful while it lasted. We had three magical months in Korea, two years of peace in Brazil and one year when everything went down. She was so crazy about me that she decided to leave her country and come live with me in Brazil. After three years of an almost married life, I was neglecting her so much that she stopped loving me. She left me and went back to Korea, breaking my heart so bad that I though I was gonna die.
I always thought you could cure the pain of a lost love with sex and after a year or so of being a slut again I met HB. She was a work colleague who lived in USA with whom I had some work related phone calls from time to time. We began this long distance relationship and on a trip we ended up hooking up. We kept it going for a while but different life goals and the distance ended our doomed relationship. Eventhough I already had plans to move to the USA we couldn't keep the magic going. I believe she loved me back then but I'm not so sure about it now.
And these were the four girls I was in love with before my wife.
I've had some other Asian girlfriends, many of them Brazilian born Koreans, Japanese or Chinese. I've also dated white and black girls. But I never fell in love with any of them because they were lacking something to me. The girls I really loved were not only Koreans, but they also had Korean culture in them. They spoke the language, they acted Korean, they were typical Korean girls. So, what I'm thinking is that, at least for me, it's very hard to fall in love with somebody if you don't share the same cultural background.
Sometimes I felt seriously interested in a particular non-Korean girl and I even thought I could someday come to love her. But this infatuation I felt only lasted for about three months after we slept together. In some cases I kept the relationship going but I was soon feeling sorry for the girl for I knew I would never be in love with her like she was with me. I remember one girl I dated for a year. She was Brazilian born Japanese and I used to wake up in the middle of the night crying, while she was sleeping by my side, because I knew our relationship was going to end some day.
I admire people who can date successfuly outside their race and culture and I really try hard not to be racist. My sister is married to a white guy and I love him like a brother. But although she was born in Korea, she isn't culturally Korean and she never was. She's a Brazilian-American woman, there's very little of Korean in her. That's why their marriage is going well.
Actually I envy the flexibility of non-Koreans when it comes to dating. They can get along with anybody, be it white, yellow, black, brown or purple. But we Koreans are very peculiar people. We need Koreans around us to be happy. There are some things in our culture that don't translate in any other. That's why most of the marriages between typical Korean girls and non-Korean guys don't work so well. The guy may be ok with it but the girl is probably gonna miss Korean culture some day.
Korean guys usually are more attached to "being Korean" than the girls. That's why you rarely see a Korean guy married to a non-Korean girl.
Am I the only one who thinks that way?
I notice now that I didn't mention what happened between me and MK. I will leave it for another post and another day.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
My Sassy Girl (2001)
Movies like this always bring nostalgic feelings of my time spent in Korea and I believe it would be the same for any expat out there like me.
I left Korea pretty young but I went back there after college to re-learn the language I had long forgotten. And in that time I met a girl with whom I had a long relationship. I still remember the rides in the subway on my way to meet her, the way she used to hold my arm when we were walking in the busy streets and her cute shyness at any public display of affection from my "westernized" personality.
Our relationship wasn't platonic (and I doubt any couple in Korea would have such a relationship as shown in this movie, especially now) but it had much of the same innocence shown in the movie. We also went to amusement parks, we also took trips to the country, we also spent long hours just sitting in the park and talking. And, funny thing, we once went to a club in which the target patrons were a little bit younger than us. We just didn't have any high school uniforms to wear.
I don't specifically miss her (and it wouldn't be fair to my wife and my baby girl if I longed for a long gone ex-girlfriend), but I miss some elements of that relationship. And I'm definitely nostalgic about the only serious relationship I had in Korea. The moments we spent together, especially the moments we spent in Korea, were magic.
I left Korea pretty young but I went back there after college to re-learn the language I had long forgotten. And in that time I met a girl with whom I had a long relationship. I still remember the rides in the subway on my way to meet her, the way she used to hold my arm when we were walking in the busy streets and her cute shyness at any public display of affection from my "westernized" personality.
Our relationship wasn't platonic (and I doubt any couple in Korea would have such a relationship as shown in this movie, especially now) but it had much of the same innocence shown in the movie. We also went to amusement parks, we also took trips to the country, we also spent long hours just sitting in the park and talking. And, funny thing, we once went to a club in which the target patrons were a little bit younger than us. We just didn't have any high school uniforms to wear.
I don't specifically miss her (and it wouldn't be fair to my wife and my baby girl if I longed for a long gone ex-girlfriend), but I miss some elements of that relationship. And I'm definitely nostalgic about the only serious relationship I had in Korea. The moments we spent together, especially the moments we spent in Korea, were magic.
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